These past eight months have certainly been an amazing journey. I've learned and grown in areas I'd never even noticed before. I have been and still am walking out of some interesting generational issues. God sure has been faithful this whole way as I know he will always be.
You can ask questions and read books or listen to teachings all you want about pregnancy and how it's going to be, but I have realized that you can never fully comprehend the entirety of it until you are in it yourself.
I started out following only what I had heard other people say about their experiences and, not surprisingly, started experiencing all of the symptoms they had warned me about. The first few months especially were the hardest for me. I encountered nausea and an intense repulsion to foods that I normally liked. I took on self pity big time thinking that the whole nine months was going to be that way. I couldn't imagine why anyone would ever want to get pregnant for a second time.
Then almost exactly at the three month mark, Pastor Henry did a teaching on Self Pity. I suddenly realized how much of that I had been participating with and I immediately repented to God for my participation with that way of thinking and came out of agreement with it. It was like someone took a switch from misery to freedom. All of the worst symptoms I had been enduring were gone overnight especially the cloud of oppression that had me tied down. There were still a few of the minor symptoms but those I could definitely handle.
I was finally able to get my joy and my peace back and be excited about the new life that was forming within me. Since then, any time I catch that stinking mindset trying to come back on me I remind myself that God intended this to be a blessing, not a curse. What's happening inside of me is such a miracle. I am not saying that all of the symptoms have gone away, a few are to be expected with our constantly changing bodies physically and chemically as the baby is developing. The enemy really has been trying to rob me of the incredible joy that this time truly is supposed to be.
Another one of these battles was with sleep. I had been told and had read that often times in the last few months of your pregnancy it becomes difficult to sleep because of discomfort of the growing baby among other things. At first I actually took this on without even having a reason to. I would actually lay in bed awake, afraid that if I went to sleep I'd encounter all these discomforts that I had heard about. So for about a week, I barely slept at all! Finally I recognized how fear was robbing me of my sleep and was able to overcome that with God's help and lately I have been sleeping super soundly with hardly and interruption except for potty visits. Praise the Lord.
It's funny this last trimester of the pregnancy was the one I dreaded most and actually it has been the best part so far. I just love laying on my bed and watching my belly squirm around. At one point I was in my glider chair watching TV with my cockatiel, Jazzy, sitting on my belly. She was peacefully preening herself when all of a sudden she started freaking out. I couldn't figure out what on earth was her problem until I realized that she was glaring intently at my belly. Tamahra had been kicking her from the inside. Finally the bird had enough she squealed and poked my belly with her beak then jumped off onto my pant leg. Ever since she has been a little wary of my belly. I'm going to have to teach those two how to get along once Tamahra's out.
I suppose that my whole point in this post is to encourage you that we are all on our own journey and there is no point in taking on other people experiences. I've learned that as I rested in the Lord and trusted Him in this particular area that He met me and gave me peace and joy beyond my expectations. It really is amazing to me how unique every person's pregnancy is, it's like each one of us has our own special time just between us, our baby our God and, of course, our husbands. What a gift!
PS. The "Self Pity" Teaching and another teaching that has been super helpful to me called "God's Plan for Childbearing" are available in the bookstore section of www.beinhealth.com
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