Friday, January 28, 2011

Refocussing My Self-Image

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my Dad about how much I was struggling with my self-image and with loving myself. He challenged me on two levels that struck a strong cord with me. The first was my pride, he asked if perhaps my pride was hurt because I wasn't what I considered the "fairest of them all." I immediately understood what he was saying and am still in awe that I never noticed that before. I've spent so much time focussing on unloving and self-hatred that I never really gave any attention to pride. It's funny how that one operates, if we have the basic understanding that these thoughts are not our own but are strategically placed by the enemy and his minions we can suddenly realize how pride (one such minion) is so often overlooked and even protected! For example an event may occur where we would say, "That hurt my pride." As soon as we take ownership of that pride we are basically putting a protective wall around that one and saying, "I'm keeping this one, I agree with the way it thinks and I want it to be a part of my life." Bleck!

The second part of my Dad's challenge was the cherry on top of it all. He read to me from 1 Peter 1:23:
Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, the the word of God, which liveth and abideth forever.
This scripture challenges us to put on an eternal perspective. If we are just seeds now, then what are we doing putting so much attention on the appearance of our seed? The seed isn't what is going to be seen in eternity, it's the plant that comes out of that seed! Can you imagine what a person's plant will look like in eternity that spends all of their time focussing on their self image and caring more about what people think about them than what God thinks about them. That's going to be a pretty pitiful looking plant because the only thing that was nurtured was their corruptible shell, not the spirit on the inside of that shell that would be the incorruptible plant. I decided that day that I wanted to be a beautiful, honorable plant in eternity and put more attention on that than on petting my pride and worrying about how other people see me.

Now, as I've tended to make it habit to do, let me pull this into perspective. Like many things, there is a balance to this revelation. I am by no means suggesting to stop taking care of our bodies because we are told in God's Word to take care of our temples (which is our body) I am talking about excessive focus or mindsets placing our value on our appearance rather than our Spirit which is the thing that God values over anything else. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The freedom I've gotten out of this revelation is exponential, I am so excited that as I walk this out I am gaining more confidence in myself on every level. Insecurities that I've been holding onto for my whole life are starting to melt away every day and I've been encountering breakthrough after breakthrough in regards to overcoming fear and the issues I've had with myself.

If God is a gracious God who sees what is in our heart, why can't we have grace and mercy on our selves and cut ourselves some slack? At a recent one day conference I attended with Ellel Ministry's founder, Peter Horrobin, as the speaker, he made a point that stuck strong with me. He said that God is Love, He is not capable of being anything else that is just who He is! Therefore He is not even capable of not loving us, His creation.

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